The joy of first-times with babies that nobody glorifies

Mothers are great. They outlast everything. But when they’re bad, they’re the worst thing that can happen. – Carrie Fisher

If you’re a mother to an infant that constantly needs diaper changes, you know you’re going through sleepless nights. It’s not only important to maintain a clean and hygienic routine for your babies, but it’s also important to maintain that little sanity that you’ve been taking for granted since the little monster(s) came into your life.

All expecting mothers, whether you need it or not, are given advices that comes out from a little diary that is passed on by their great-grandmothers to turn you into an effective, superhuman momma that does everything and is given tricks to mentally prep you for all the ‘all-nighters’ and ‘bye bye personal spaces’. Do these diaries tell you about the immense joy or the process and experiences you’ll share with your monster? Maybe, maybe not. These joys are heard of when you’re a young teenager who dreads pregnancy but the moment you’re pregnant, there comes a clan of mothers dressed in black robes that welcome you into their slumber party and talk about ‘be ready for this’ series of things. Don’t worry, moms, there’s a clan of dad’s that is freaking your husband out simultaneously but he’s going to keep it all together for your sake and for the sake of the monster.

To bring back your sanity, there’s always this little book that you can read and remind yourself of all the good things and the first-times you’ll experience with the 9-months of pregnancy till the growing old of your tiny tots until one day, when they no longer need your hand to walk the roads. Emotional, isn’t it? I haven’t even started yet.

You’re going to be the ‘superhero’ that you’ve always looked upto as a child. How does that make you feel? Powerful? Well, with great power comes great responsibility. It’s what you’ll be signing up for. As a child, you’ve probably always looked up to someone that could make all your dreams come true. This time, someone’s going to be looking up to you in hopes of making their dreams come true. You are somebody’s superhero, dear mother. Isn’t that the first you’ve ever experienced? Embrace it, and pardon yourself on days when you feel just like Clark Kent.

It’s going to be the first-time joy that you’ll experience to see your monster learn something new. Not imitate, but discover and learn that this Abacus can be moved THIS way! Or when your baby finally manages to find your phone and looks up at you with those glistering eyes, “Mother, I found something!”. That’s the only possible time when anger is met with a first-time joy and turns into a memorable event.

You’ll sure see the moment when another kid delves into Christopher Columbus mode but only when you’re a mother will you FEEL the experience of your own kid discovering something as tiny as a cookie in your right hand and not the left. Only you will compare that to the discovery of the year and that giggles you hear after the discovery of the cookie, man, that is a therapy you don’t pay for and feel elated after.

Diapers. How could I forget them! Seen as the most monotonous and dreading experience of breeding a child, you’ll experience diaper changes in between your sweet slumber, during your car drive, simultaneously when your baby cries and moreover, you’ll definitely have a moment when the baby poops WHILE you change your diaper. All of these are things you’ll experience the first-time when parenting a child. But you know what, we don’t have to turn this into a dreadful experience. Know that you’re not going to be changing their diapers for the rest of their lives. It’s short-lived. Something that’s short-lived can be turned into an experience that you’ll want to remember and if not that, at least make it pleasant. So, let’s try making this diaper changing process a fun-filled experience for the baby.

Tickle your monster, sing them songs, or even try finding ‘an act’ a move that makes your monster laugh! This phase won’t last long either. You’re soon going to encounter a time when you no longer can hold this monster in your arms like you did the first day at the hospital. The tiny one is growing; and how! Take pictures of you in a messy hair with your tiny one lying on your stomach, of you shouting at your husband, or even of you showering your baby. It’s an experience that you go through only when you’re parenting a child.

You will be excused for your imagination and indulging in childish antics because your child is an excuse for you to be a kid again. Maybe the Santa Claus never died for you. This is when you go all out on your imagination. You’ll enjoy answering all of their ‘How and Why’s’ because it’s going to make you think like never before. The joy of going back to the basics. It’s only now when they’ll be questioning you, mothers, because soon you will be the one seeking for answers and you’ll probably get none!

No denying that, mothers, you will irrefutably experience a wave of lows and sadness but that’s when you tell yourself that “It’s okay”. It’s all right to want some space and time alone from your child and husband, it’s okay to be frustrated, it’s all right that you want a bag full of chips and lie on your couch without the baby. It’s okay. You’re adulting, everyday, and your child is growing as well. Catch the most of it when you can because you will soon be amazed and left with this lingering thought – “How did they grow up so fast?”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *